I Wish! :D

One of you're favorite forum games, comes back to life!
In "I wish", you are to ruin someone's wish's in a horrible way!
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The rules are that you must grant the previous poster's wish, but in the most funniest or horrible way, & then you make one to continue the game!

Example:
Person 1: I wish for a puppy!

Person 2: Granted, but the puppy is Satan in an very cute puppy costume & he kills everything you love.

I wish for a lollipop..

etc.. etc...
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Now For the GamePlay!
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I wish I wasn't so impatient..

Granted, but you become too hyper to do anything.

I wish the sky was a different color.

Granted, but the color is so bright that you are blinded by the light~

I wish that i didn't drink so much soda.. ~_~

Granted, but you end up in caffine withdraw and you end up a crack head to satiate your lust.

I wish I had the biggest dick in the world

Granted, but it killed every woman you fuck, even the one you love.

I wish my computer wasn't so slow.

Granted, but it processed so much information so quickly, it developed a mind of its own and took over the world, imprisoning you for all the times you insulted it for how slow it was going.

I wish Taco Bell had better quality meat.

Granted, but the meat is so high quality that when you are about to eat it, IT ATTACKS YOUR FACE.

I wish everyone in the house would just go to bed so that I can sleep!!

Granted but they start to sleep kill, eventually targeting you.

I wish I had ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like.

Granted, but that ends up making sense!

I wish I knew what you were trying to say

It was such a lame wish, that it wasn't granted.

I wish for world domination.

Granted, but it gets taken over by Spiders, not you.

I wish I could beat Majora's mask

Granted, but you beat it so hard it breaks (lolinnuendo)

I wish AOL wasn't an awful IM service.

Granted, but because of this wish you have given up you're soul unwillingly.

I wish i could just figure this thing out..

Granted, but due to figuring things out, your head explodes from knowing too much.

I wish for a pony.

Granted, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyMXYE_50Ts

I wish I had a demon sheep.

I don't see how that's a bad thing. It's beautiful!

Granted, but it bites your balls off.

I wish for happiness.

Granted, but in return you give up everything you own, including you're family to go onto an body-wrenching journey towards enlightenment.

I wish I had better headphones THAT WOULDN'T BLOW OUT MY EARDRUMS.

Granted, but it only plays Justin Beiber.

I wish bleach was real-ish

Granted, but you get eaten by a hollow.

I wish my house would clean it's self

Granted but it cleans itself on a weekly basis and you have to deal with me making it messy every night.

I wish I could get free healthcare.

Granted, but once you get it, you die of a heart attack.

I wish for candy.

Granted, but it tastes like your least favorite food

I wish that my computer wasn't a piece of crap

Granted, it explodes from the sheer power it now contains, wiping out half the planet.

I wish I had fans.

Granted but they're all Bieber-esque fans

I wish I had a time machine.

Granted, but because you had one; you are pressured into using it & cause yourself from never being born.

I wish my hair was actually dyed pink.